I AM

Knowing  yourself is the beginning of all wisdom — Aristotle

It all started with this quote years back! This made me ask many questions to self. Do I know myself? Am I really happy? Am I longing for something? Do I have insecurities? Am I overriding my true identity? I was unable to find answers. The reason being, I failed to dive deep into the core of myself which was buried by time, my own fears, conditioning and insecurities. I felt agitated to look at the areas with highest turmoil in my life. I have no idea what was stopping me and why I was confused and why I was feeling uncomfortable to dig through finding answers. 

I still remember the day I filled up the application form –  There were many questions flashing the mind as I missed it two years back – destiny has other plans then. Does it has to say something to me? and Sometimes, life itself gets in the way and makes us stop. May be, this was the time for me or may be I needed this the most now or may be I am ready now to take up the journey. And after 3 months, here I am on the journey to know who I AM!

The first two days of journey was a challenge for me as I was not ready to slow down my pace and was not ready to walk in silence. There comes a time where I asked, what good is to reach my goal if I don’t learn to walk alongside those who are walking at slow pace? How would I understand myself if I am not giving a room for introspection through walking in silence? Learning to walk was not the challenge in my life. The greatest effort was in learning to direct my steps. Where I have come from? Where am I going? To figure it out, I broke my usual way. I became comfortable by being in uncomfortable. There after, every day I started saying “Feet, where would you take me today!” May this path teach me a new way to walk!

I realized, the importance of silence is that it really encourages different behaviors that I think are harder when its noisy. And the behavior in that respect would be introspection – Looking into myself. I started to focus on the noises that exist inside me which I cant even hear with ears. In this silence, I discovered myself and begin to notice what is coming from heart. That’s the moment I heard my heart beat, not once, not twice but a series of beats which had answered few unanswered questions since years. The whispers I heard from inside and the lightness I felt, made me feel like a feather!

I asked myself do I need everything I have? There is always a joy in simplicity and poverty. How attached I am to the unimportant things in life, which have taken up so much space and thought I can’t live without them. All such can be a distraction and slows me down. What is that I would like to let go? – Materialistic or a feeling or a trauma or anything else. What is the baggage I am carrying since years which needs to be let go now?

Why do I sometimes worry about past or think about what’s going to happen in future? All these years, it was a race against TIME. For what I was racing for? I wasn’t aware the simple phrases “Time is now“, “Here and now” was so impactful till the moment I realized the importance of being in “NOW” and being “Mindful”. The very moment which actually exists is “NOW”.

One kind word can warm three winter months – Japanese proverb

It’s easy to say something nice and it is even easier to neglect it. It always makes me feel happy if anyone appreciates or notices the inconsequential things I have done. But how often I pass such kindness to others? Why I fail to express often to near and dear though I notice and feel the gestures. What was stopping me? May be I always take my people for granted or may be I feel the others takes me for granted if I do it often?

The phrase “Choice is yours” is another powerful phrase if look through. Though I have a free will to exercise my choice, am I doing it? Am I happy with the choices I made? Why do I carry regret for some choices I made? Rather carrying the baggage I have to “Accept and Allow“.

Atma Deepo Bhava – Buddha

To be illuminated with the light of soul – The absolute spirit.

The petty things I overlook on daily basis are now became a major part of me. The gratitude, appreciating the tiny things, little joys of life, Nature connect, being mindful, allowing heart to lead, knowing the body, feeling of completion etc etc and many more to list. And there starts my journey of finding my innermost sanctum of being ‘I AM’.

Few moments in life has to be experienced and can’t be expressed in words. This is one such journey for me.

Today, I feel extremely lucky to know Mr. Diyanat Ali without whom “Self Craft” would have not existed. I always admired Mr. Diyanat for the work he does and was always been my inspiration. But, with this journey, the respect I had for him have been reached completely an another level which can’t be expressed. Thank you for taking me on this journey and making me a better version. I cherish this journey lifetime.